So kinda strange stepping back onto the Sceptered Isle after 15 years away....even if it is just in transit. One airport looks much like another these days and I really could have been landing anywhere. But I wasn't. I was landing in Good Old Blighty and I was ready to soak up all that the country had become in my absence. Of course an airport arrivals and departure lounge is not the best place to start but its all I have for a few days so if you feel I'm unfair, tough, its my blog. :)
Observation 1: Fast track? Not so much. One of the perks of travelling first class is, apparently, a fast track passport control check. It started off so well! I got to look at the great unwashed (TGU) as I sauntered past them. Got almost to the front of the line in record time and then.....nothing. Well to be fair it was one thing. One guy. That's it. I watched on in horror as wave after wave of TGU made it through ahead of me, our line bottlenecked by good old British efficiency. Maybe they were on a tea break. Benefit of the doubt and all. But maybe not. Maybe this is the way the Lib Dems are screwing over the Rich and Famous. Whatever the reason it was an inauspicious start.
Observation 2: This isn't freshly squeezed orange juice!
Observation 3: Toast it a little more please. A bacon sarnie is meant to be made with toast, not slighty tanned bread.
Observation 4: F@ck my carbon footprint. Stop reminding me of this hoax. I don't give a crap.
Observation 5: WTF is with all the sitar music? Did I miss my stop and deboard somewhere in Asia?
Observation 6: Yay for thick cut bacon!
Observation 7: Yay for HP Sauce!
Observation 8: Its a real shame when the pursuit of internationalism results in the loss of cultural identity. If I order a slap up English breakfast I want it served by somebody who looks like my mum....or somebody who would look at home in Corrie. Its part of the experience. Don't confuse this as a comment on race. It isn't. Its about culture; its about an identity. I wanted a breakfast experience and all I got was vanilla. F@ck even a trip to The Little Chef would have been more of a cultural experience. Vanilla disease (no not that kind of VD....minds out of the gutter please) seems to be rampant around the world and its a shame....a real shame. People crave culture and the opportunity to immerse themselves in a new destination. Why don't the people in power get that?
Observation 9: I had forgotten the tackiness of sitting at a table that has a number on it. Kinda eliminates any ambience the bacon sarnie generated. Lol
Observation 10: I am not a number! I am a free man.
Observation 11: Off to catch a flight to Geneva and hopefully wash the tinniness of the OJ from my tongue. Oh btw, after years slamming expresso, I am now addicted to it. Looking forward to many expresso buzzes! Even double and triple expresso buzzes! Buzzzzzzz!
Observation 12: WTF! No free refills!!!!!
Fin.
Just getting some practise in.
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