Procrastinatio.....

Poised to take the next big step,

Ready to take the plunge.

Organized, steady, 'standing' tall,

Crouched and ready to lunge.

Reading up on all to know,

Aware of all that's needed.

Settled on the path to go,

Tons of advice, all heeded.

Imagining all the future holds,

Not looking back but forward.

Always checking double time.

Tentative? A little awkward?

Introspective? Seeds of doubt?

Oh please don't make me blink!

No! Stay firm! Just stay the course!

........Nah! I'll have another drink.

The Vanilla Option

There has been a lot of chatter recently about the revamped $100 bill and its alleged involvement in ethnic cleansing. In this world that panders to faux outrage its apparently OK to liken the redesign of a bank note with genocide, but I digress. I actually like the little brown notes much more than the little red ones or the little green ones....but again I digress. ;)

For those of you who are not following this story with the fervour of a Green Peace activist at a GOP convention, I will give you the Cole's notes version of the story.

The Bank of Canada (BOC) has started printing money on this fancy shmanzy plastic material as opposed to the now 'old fashioned' paper. Its more durable, has more security features, blah blah blah blah. The fact that it looks like a cross between Monopoly money and the Azerbhaijani ruble seems lost on people. It could be worse though, it could resemble that bastion of currency high fashion the Euro. Anyways, rambling again. Back to the story. One of the draft designs featured what looked like an Asian looking lady peering down an old fashioned microscope. Pictured close by was a vial of insulin, the whole ensemble an apparent homage to Dr Banting the discoverer of insulin....a Canadian....just saying. Its pretty standard practice with any new design to send it before a bevvy of focus groups to get the OK. I mean, you do not want to go against the will of a Canadian focus group - they may, I stress may, exhibit mild displeasure if they don't like the design, you know, resulting in the odd raised eyebrow or possibly even a sharp intake of breath followed by a quick change in the topic of conversation. Nice weather eh?

The focus groups, made up of people with a diverse range of ethnicities,  objected to the use of an Asian looking (read Chinese) woman on the note. Some of the objections were because people didn't think the Chinese girl looked Canadian enough, some because they thought it stereotyped the Chinese (as hard working over achievers), some because, well, people like to object about everything and anything given the opportunity.  Reacting to this negative feedback, and trying to live up to their policy of neutral ethnicity, presumably a policy born out of the fear of generating negative reactions from some or other sector of the community, the Asian girl was cut and replaced with a more ethnically neutral looking girl (read white).

Despite this happening last year and despite the fact the draft note never made it into circulation, the dropping of the Asian girl has generated cries of racism. Reacting to the 'outcry', the BOC has publicly apologized for the way it executed the redesign process and has fallen on its sword. There are still a lot of ticked off people though, and frankly its hard to understand why.

There is a lot about this story that annoys me. First and foremost are the over the top reactions of the groups playing the race card. I mean, seriously? Ethnic cleansing? We live in an imperfect world where racism, real racism exists.  This is not an example of it. Misguided and bumbling? Yes. Racist? No. When groups cry racism over incidents such as this they cry wolf.....and in doing so they mute the response of society to incidents of real racism. In effect one could argue they actually do harm to the very people they purport to defend. I was also ticked off to hear that the BOC had caved and issued an apology. They really did nothing wrong. In apologizing they actually reinforce the faux outrage rather than quell it. Ridiculous.

There are other things that bug me about this fiasco.

If the bank has a policy of neutral ethnicity on its bank notes, why was a draft prepared that contained a visible minority?

Why does the bank have a policy of neutral ethnicity in the first place? If the policy is commemorate important Canadians or Canadian achievements what happens if the important Canadian is a visible minority?

Why is neutral ethnicity always defined as 'white'? Is there such a thing as neutral ethnicity?

Does anybody really give a crap what is depicted on our bank notes? I mean its usually dead guys that nobody gets taught about at school anymore anyway.

This whole drive to vanilla-ize society is rampant. If we continue to embrace and pander to the complaints of the Faux Outrage Generation (FOG) we will eventually lose one of the key elements that makes our world the wonderful place it is.....its diversity. So rather than taking the vanilla option, we should be celebrating that which makes us different and not burying it. We should be choosing the politics of inclusion through mutual acceptance rather than the politics of suppression. We should be choosing to adorn the world in a million colours rather than applying a shroud of white wash.

But what do I know? I'm just a white Christian boy.

Persist

Love knows no bounds,

No borders does it keep.

It does not know when to quit and run,

Or sink beneath the deep.

It faces toil with its head held high

E'en when the battle rages.

It bends not breaks and braces tall

The rock that spans the ages.

When all around just gathers gloom

And hope seems buried deeper,

Rejoice in love and keep it close,

Know it foretells a future sweeter.

A time when two will still be one,

A time when the battle's over.

A time when rest comes to those that gave

Their all to be together.

So fight! Fight hard! The dream deserves

All sleeping hands to muster.

Engage your hearts and focus your minds,

Forget the tired out bluster.

For God above has always taught

That faith breeds hope eternal!

And who are we to fight the will

Of God, our Father and Maker.

Breast Intentions?

I sucked you in with the title didn’t I? Im guessing your first thoughts were ‘What the heck is Jooge up to now? What inappropriate thing is he going to say?’ I don’t blame you. I would have had the same reaction. I guess that’s what happens when you have a reputation and post something with ‘breasts’ in the title. Giggle. Gaffaw. Fnarr. Fnarr. But fear not! Your Delinquent Scribe is gonna be serious…..or at least try to be.

Before I start, full disclosure: I am a 46 year old man who has never yearned to cross swords; I accept but don’t necessarily understand homosexuality in others; I support civil unions as opposed to gay marriage and I have probably told gay jokes in the past. OK, I know I have. Does that make me a bigot? That’s your call. Sometimes people use the term bigotry when they don’t like the fact that somebody else has a different opinion than them. I myself prefer to use the term when somebody is being outwardly hostile and mean to somebody just because they are different. As I said, it’s your call. Let not the fact that I hail from a country that openly bandies around the term ‘faggot’ to refer to a meaty snack best served with gravy affect your decision. I’m not helping myself am I?

Enough bluster! Time for the juicy part! I came across this newspaper article whilst wiling away a wistful lunchtime today. Delicately trying to avoid details of the coming beatification of Smiling Jack, Patron Saint of Asian Masseuses, I happened across a picture of a man with a young infant securely attached to his nipple. After almost choking on my Chicken Dopiaza (take out from last night when a curry frenzy attacked me) I decided to take a closer look at the story. Why? Morbid curiosity for the strange and abnormal I guess. And there was breast action going on. Told ya! Fnarr.

For those of you who want to read the whole article check out this link: http://metronews.ca/news/toronto/341567/breastfeeding-dads-bid-to-become-lactation-coach-rejected/

For the lazy ones amongst you here is a brief synopsis. Girl in BC decides she wants to live as a man. Takes drugs and has a breast reduction but can’t afford the ‘bottom changes’, as he / she so eloquently puts it. Is already with or takes up with ‘another’ guy as his partner. Comes off drugs and gets pregnant. Has kid and then attempts to breast feed the kid and apparently is so successful at inducing lactation from his little nubs that he wants to now coach women on how to do it. I am sure he would make the breast lactation coach in the world. Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Do I sense a nipple, sorry ripple, of applause for that joke? Anyway…..

Well he gets turned down because he is not a woman and predictably the rejection prompted a near torrent of accusations and insults from any activist within a bras length of the story. I’m pathetic aren’t I?

So what was it that perked my interest? What was it that made me so angry? I mean it’s just a guy breast feeding a baby right? No harm done, right? Actually, wrong.

Womanhood inherently comes with the potential blessing of motherhood. Yeah sure Womanhood also comes with the very real reality of an aunt that won’t stop visiting, but some would argue that it’s a small price to pay for the joys of motherhood. Of course I am not going to deign to comment on the merits of each ‘gift’ because somewhere there is a woman who is reading this blog, who has a knife and has also run out of Midol. Yeah I like to live dangerously. Seriously though, there are things in this world that are exclusively in the domain of Woman. As a Dad I love my boys and I am as close to them as any dad could be. That being said a child’s connection to his mother, especially a mother who has borne the child and allowed him to suckle at their breast, is something no man can ever hope to replicate or truly understand. It’s a bond that lasts a lifetime. I know. I have my Mummy. Don’t get me wrong, there are many many ways that a Father and his child form bonds that also last a lifetime….but let’s be honest here, it’s just not the same.

This is why stories like this really piss me off. They piss me off because they are yet another example of how society is eating itself from the inside. Another example of how society, or rather certain factions of our society, are attempting to blur the lines between the genders, undermine what nature has so delicately developed and in essence encourage androgyny. Trevor(ette) best said it when asked about how he would describe himself. He said:

“First and foremost I identify as a parent,” Trevor said. “I suppose I use the term (fatherhood) because it’s what we have going in our society, not because I think it’s fantastic or I think it’s really accurate.” (Emphasis added)

In that one sentence he clearly establishes why his move to manhood may have been a little premature. Sure he took the drugs and has facial hair and a deep dark voice. But is that the only criteria for being a man? I mean, I have dated women with facial hair and deep dark voices. Stop It! I know. It was dark, I was drunk and she had shaved her legs. I was vulnerable. No. Being a man is not measured by your ability to grow facial hair nor is it measured by your ability to sing as a baritone. So what is the measure of a man? Honour? Respect? Fraternity? Bravery? The list is a long one. But guess what? One thing that isn’t on that list is the ability to breast feed. That’s a woman’s reward for the pain of child birth. That’s a woman’s reward for a lifetime of worry and pain as they care for their child from cradle to grave…..and so what right have you, Trevor(ette), to play fast and loose with the gender lines just so that it fits your needs and wants? It would be easy to lay all the blame at Trevor(ette)’s backdoor, but really we have only ourselves to blame. We have let activism convince us that gender roles that have served us well since time immemorial are actually not that good of an idea after all. Don’t confuse that statement as a wistful yearning for the pre-suffrage days. It isn’t. I am an ardent supporter of equal opportunities for everybody irrespective of gender, race, creed or colour. The bottom line is that men and women are different and each gender is blessed with positives and negatives. It is the very fact that life isn’t always a free ride that makes it so exciting and intoxicating. You don’t always get to have your cake (or breast for that matter) and eat it. Unfortunately certain factions of society have decided that they don’t have to play by those rules. They assert that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want and if we oppose them, we are just being a bunch of bigoted asses. It’s time to put an end to the nonsense because frankly the name Pat is not that appealing.