Breast Intentions?

I sucked you in with the title didn’t I? Im guessing your first thoughts were ‘What the heck is Jooge up to now? What inappropriate thing is he going to say?’ I don’t blame you. I would have had the same reaction. I guess that’s what happens when you have a reputation and post something with ‘breasts’ in the title. Giggle. Gaffaw. Fnarr. Fnarr. But fear not! Your Delinquent Scribe is gonna be serious…..or at least try to be.

Before I start, full disclosure: I am a 46 year old man who has never yearned to cross swords; I accept but don’t necessarily understand homosexuality in others; I support civil unions as opposed to gay marriage and I have probably told gay jokes in the past. OK, I know I have. Does that make me a bigot? That’s your call. Sometimes people use the term bigotry when they don’t like the fact that somebody else has a different opinion than them. I myself prefer to use the term when somebody is being outwardly hostile and mean to somebody just because they are different. As I said, it’s your call. Let not the fact that I hail from a country that openly bandies around the term ‘faggot’ to refer to a meaty snack best served with gravy affect your decision. I’m not helping myself am I?

Enough bluster! Time for the juicy part! I came across this newspaper article whilst wiling away a wistful lunchtime today. Delicately trying to avoid details of the coming beatification of Smiling Jack, Patron Saint of Asian Masseuses, I happened across a picture of a man with a young infant securely attached to his nipple. After almost choking on my Chicken Dopiaza (take out from last night when a curry frenzy attacked me) I decided to take a closer look at the story. Why? Morbid curiosity for the strange and abnormal I guess. And there was breast action going on. Told ya! Fnarr.

For those of you who want to read the whole article check out this link: http://metronews.ca/news/toronto/341567/breastfeeding-dads-bid-to-become-lactation-coach-rejected/

For the lazy ones amongst you here is a brief synopsis. Girl in BC decides she wants to live as a man. Takes drugs and has a breast reduction but can’t afford the ‘bottom changes’, as he / she so eloquently puts it. Is already with or takes up with ‘another’ guy as his partner. Comes off drugs and gets pregnant. Has kid and then attempts to breast feed the kid and apparently is so successful at inducing lactation from his little nubs that he wants to now coach women on how to do it. I am sure he would make the breast lactation coach in the world. Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Do I sense a nipple, sorry ripple, of applause for that joke? Anyway…..

Well he gets turned down because he is not a woman and predictably the rejection prompted a near torrent of accusations and insults from any activist within a bras length of the story. I’m pathetic aren’t I?

So what was it that perked my interest? What was it that made me so angry? I mean it’s just a guy breast feeding a baby right? No harm done, right? Actually, wrong.

Womanhood inherently comes with the potential blessing of motherhood. Yeah sure Womanhood also comes with the very real reality of an aunt that won’t stop visiting, but some would argue that it’s a small price to pay for the joys of motherhood. Of course I am not going to deign to comment on the merits of each ‘gift’ because somewhere there is a woman who is reading this blog, who has a knife and has also run out of Midol. Yeah I like to live dangerously. Seriously though, there are things in this world that are exclusively in the domain of Woman. As a Dad I love my boys and I am as close to them as any dad could be. That being said a child’s connection to his mother, especially a mother who has borne the child and allowed him to suckle at their breast, is something no man can ever hope to replicate or truly understand. It’s a bond that lasts a lifetime. I know. I have my Mummy. Don’t get me wrong, there are many many ways that a Father and his child form bonds that also last a lifetime….but let’s be honest here, it’s just not the same.

This is why stories like this really piss me off. They piss me off because they are yet another example of how society is eating itself from the inside. Another example of how society, or rather certain factions of our society, are attempting to blur the lines between the genders, undermine what nature has so delicately developed and in essence encourage androgyny. Trevor(ette) best said it when asked about how he would describe himself. He said:

“First and foremost I identify as a parent,” Trevor said. “I suppose I use the term (fatherhood) because it’s what we have going in our society, not because I think it’s fantastic or I think it’s really accurate.” (Emphasis added)

In that one sentence he clearly establishes why his move to manhood may have been a little premature. Sure he took the drugs and has facial hair and a deep dark voice. But is that the only criteria for being a man? I mean, I have dated women with facial hair and deep dark voices. Stop It! I know. It was dark, I was drunk and she had shaved her legs. I was vulnerable. No. Being a man is not measured by your ability to grow facial hair nor is it measured by your ability to sing as a baritone. So what is the measure of a man? Honour? Respect? Fraternity? Bravery? The list is a long one. But guess what? One thing that isn’t on that list is the ability to breast feed. That’s a woman’s reward for the pain of child birth. That’s a woman’s reward for a lifetime of worry and pain as they care for their child from cradle to grave…..and so what right have you, Trevor(ette), to play fast and loose with the gender lines just so that it fits your needs and wants? It would be easy to lay all the blame at Trevor(ette)’s backdoor, but really we have only ourselves to blame. We have let activism convince us that gender roles that have served us well since time immemorial are actually not that good of an idea after all. Don’t confuse that statement as a wistful yearning for the pre-suffrage days. It isn’t. I am an ardent supporter of equal opportunities for everybody irrespective of gender, race, creed or colour. The bottom line is that men and women are different and each gender is blessed with positives and negatives. It is the very fact that life isn’t always a free ride that makes it so exciting and intoxicating. You don’t always get to have your cake (or breast for that matter) and eat it. Unfortunately certain factions of society have decided that they don’t have to play by those rules. They assert that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want and if we oppose them, we are just being a bunch of bigoted asses. It’s time to put an end to the nonsense because frankly the name Pat is not that appealing.