50 years ago today, or rather yesterday, a fresh faced Teddy Boy took advantage of a pure English rose.....no, hang on, got my dates mixed up. 50 years ago yesterday they got married. It was 50 years and three months ago that he took advantage of her, but I digress.
We are here today to celebrate an occasion that few couples getting married today can even contemplate, let alone hope for. Society in its wisdom has chosen to denigrate and lessen the importance of marriage and it has done so to its immeasurable loss. As a veteran of two marriages myself I know all to well that its hard and sometimes it ain't pretty. But that is its beauty and its reward. When my mum and dad got married they did so knowing that it would be for life. They didn't consider it to be a phase in their life, a temporary convenience, or even an opportunity to get a tax break, as so many do today. No, they signed on for life and that commitment was only cemented when my siblings and I came along. It was that gift of permanence, that promise of stability, that I am sure gave us, their children, a wonderful shield of ignorance and the gift of a happy childhood free from fear.
My Dad was a Guard on the railway when I was born in 1966; my mum already a stay at home mum with my elder brother Steven. I was followed by Sarah in 1967 and Simon in 1970. Four kids and a blue collar wage meant that money was not exactly flowing during our early years but if money was an issue it wasn't something we ever really knew about. Sure other kids had bigger toys and bigger houses but you know what, we never felt wanting. Railway passes meant we were able to take trips here there and everywhere, even to London to see the Queen. We had great family times and those trips are forever etched in my memory as I am sure they are in my brothers and sister's memory as well. Its amazing how vivid good memories can be. In fact I still recall riding 'Rankoutsider' to a second place finish in a Butlin's donkey derby, just managing to avoid slipping from the saddle I might add. Its a real shame that my future as a jockey was cut short by the du Kamp BMI genes.
The key thing is that my mum and dad gave us what every child deserves to have when growing up: fun, the freedom to learn, an absence of fear and above all the love and guidance we needed to make the transition from childhood to adulthood. They achieved this through sacrifice, by a commitment to family and by enveloping us with love, constant love, throughout our lives. They gave us strength, they gave us opportunity, they gave us great brains....but above all they gave us optimism. The optimism to take whatever life has throws our way and to turn it into the opportunity to succeed. What better gift can a parent give to their child?
I see these gifts every day in the way my brother Simon doesn't let life keep him down whatever the challenges he has faced. I see a man who oozes resourcefulness and ingenuity; a man who is an example to all that there is no reward if you give up. I look at the man he is and I hope that I have even a tenth of the goodness he brings to this world.
I see these gifts in my sister Sarah as she has balanced work and home commitments despite the most trying of times. A woman who embodies love, commitment and sprinkles all who meet her with a directness and a delicious sense of humour that just makes you smile. There was a period when Sarah and I didn't talk. I consider those lost years and I regret not having the courage to have avoided them. We live and learn.
I see these gifts in my brother Steven. As first born Steven was always a trail blazer, full of confidence, intellect and precociousness. He not only inherited his mothers eyes but also his mothers love of adventure. My mum sometimes keeps this side of her character hidden but man oh man she would put Sir Edmund Hilary to shame at times. This wonderful trait has allowed all of her children to look at life with awe and wonder, always ready to grab the world by the neck and experience all it has to offer.
I also see these gifts in myself. They have made me a better man and a better parent.
Last Christmas my sister gave us all the most wonderful gift. Unbeknownst to the rest of us she had converted our old cine film onto DVD and copies of the DVD lay under our Christmas trees. I hadn't seen these movies for over 20 years and they brought back such wonderful memories. The fact that I could now share them with my own children made it even more special. When I was younger I looked at these films with the eyes of a child. Now older I saw them through an adults eyes, a parents eyes. What I saw were two young people so in love with each other and above all their children. I saw sacrifice, I saw love, I saw family and I saw hope. In fact I saw everything that I want to give to my children.
There was a time in my life that I fought tooth and nail not to be like my Dad. I guess that's a rite of passage for any son. That's a hard thing to do when you find yourself growing to look like him physically everyday but I toiled daily. That all changed recently though when I came to realize that all of the things that I have come to love about myself were actually given to me by my parents, and especially my father. My love of adventure, my intellect, my optimism, my communication skills, my goofiness........the desire to be the best Dad that ever walked the earth. Now I look at my father through different eyes. Eyes now that can look past the annoying little habits and focus on the Man, the man I am proud to call my Dad, the man I am also proud to call my Brother.
There is an old saying that says behind every good man is a great woman. Some might see that as a little sexist these days, I view it differently. My Mum is the rock of our family. Quiet and unassuming to many, she has always been, and will always be, our strength, our fountain of love and the best mum anybody could hope for. She brings compassion, love, sacrifice and a wisdom that is amazing. The fact that our mum chose motherhood over conquering the world is something I will forever be grateful for.
Today is their day. Today we celebrate them. Today we celebrate family. Today we celebrate optimism. Today we celebrate love.
I therefore would request that you all be upstanding and join me in a toast to the happy couple.
To Mum and Dad, To Grandma and Grandpa, To Philip and Jennifer, To Fluff and Jenner.
50 years in the bag!
We are here today to celebrate an occasion that few couples getting married today can even contemplate, let alone hope for. Society in its wisdom has chosen to denigrate and lessen the importance of marriage and it has done so to its immeasurable loss. As a veteran of two marriages myself I know all to well that its hard and sometimes it ain't pretty. But that is its beauty and its reward. When my mum and dad got married they did so knowing that it would be for life. They didn't consider it to be a phase in their life, a temporary convenience, or even an opportunity to get a tax break, as so many do today. No, they signed on for life and that commitment was only cemented when my siblings and I came along. It was that gift of permanence, that promise of stability, that I am sure gave us, their children, a wonderful shield of ignorance and the gift of a happy childhood free from fear.
My Dad was a Guard on the railway when I was born in 1966; my mum already a stay at home mum with my elder brother Steven. I was followed by Sarah in 1967 and Simon in 1970. Four kids and a blue collar wage meant that money was not exactly flowing during our early years but if money was an issue it wasn't something we ever really knew about. Sure other kids had bigger toys and bigger houses but you know what, we never felt wanting. Railway passes meant we were able to take trips here there and everywhere, even to London to see the Queen. We had great family times and those trips are forever etched in my memory as I am sure they are in my brothers and sister's memory as well. Its amazing how vivid good memories can be. In fact I still recall riding 'Rankoutsider' to a second place finish in a Butlin's donkey derby, just managing to avoid slipping from the saddle I might add. Its a real shame that my future as a jockey was cut short by the du Kamp BMI genes.
The key thing is that my mum and dad gave us what every child deserves to have when growing up: fun, the freedom to learn, an absence of fear and above all the love and guidance we needed to make the transition from childhood to adulthood. They achieved this through sacrifice, by a commitment to family and by enveloping us with love, constant love, throughout our lives. They gave us strength, they gave us opportunity, they gave us great brains....but above all they gave us optimism. The optimism to take whatever life has throws our way and to turn it into the opportunity to succeed. What better gift can a parent give to their child?
I see these gifts every day in the way my brother Simon doesn't let life keep him down whatever the challenges he has faced. I see a man who oozes resourcefulness and ingenuity; a man who is an example to all that there is no reward if you give up. I look at the man he is and I hope that I have even a tenth of the goodness he brings to this world.
I see these gifts in my sister Sarah as she has balanced work and home commitments despite the most trying of times. A woman who embodies love, commitment and sprinkles all who meet her with a directness and a delicious sense of humour that just makes you smile. There was a period when Sarah and I didn't talk. I consider those lost years and I regret not having the courage to have avoided them. We live and learn.
I see these gifts in my brother Steven. As first born Steven was always a trail blazer, full of confidence, intellect and precociousness. He not only inherited his mothers eyes but also his mothers love of adventure. My mum sometimes keeps this side of her character hidden but man oh man she would put Sir Edmund Hilary to shame at times. This wonderful trait has allowed all of her children to look at life with awe and wonder, always ready to grab the world by the neck and experience all it has to offer.
I also see these gifts in myself. They have made me a better man and a better parent.
Last Christmas my sister gave us all the most wonderful gift. Unbeknownst to the rest of us she had converted our old cine film onto DVD and copies of the DVD lay under our Christmas trees. I hadn't seen these movies for over 20 years and they brought back such wonderful memories. The fact that I could now share them with my own children made it even more special. When I was younger I looked at these films with the eyes of a child. Now older I saw them through an adults eyes, a parents eyes. What I saw were two young people so in love with each other and above all their children. I saw sacrifice, I saw love, I saw family and I saw hope. In fact I saw everything that I want to give to my children.
There was a time in my life that I fought tooth and nail not to be like my Dad. I guess that's a rite of passage for any son. That's a hard thing to do when you find yourself growing to look like him physically everyday but I toiled daily. That all changed recently though when I came to realize that all of the things that I have come to love about myself were actually given to me by my parents, and especially my father. My love of adventure, my intellect, my optimism, my communication skills, my goofiness........the desire to be the best Dad that ever walked the earth. Now I look at my father through different eyes. Eyes now that can look past the annoying little habits and focus on the Man, the man I am proud to call my Dad, the man I am also proud to call my Brother.
There is an old saying that says behind every good man is a great woman. Some might see that as a little sexist these days, I view it differently. My Mum is the rock of our family. Quiet and unassuming to many, she has always been, and will always be, our strength, our fountain of love and the best mum anybody could hope for. She brings compassion, love, sacrifice and a wisdom that is amazing. The fact that our mum chose motherhood over conquering the world is something I will forever be grateful for.
Today is their day. Today we celebrate them. Today we celebrate family. Today we celebrate optimism. Today we celebrate love.
I therefore would request that you all be upstanding and join me in a toast to the happy couple.
To Mum and Dad, To Grandma and Grandpa, To Philip and Jennifer, To Fluff and Jenner.
50 years in the bag!
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