The Courage to be Different

 We all know that leadership takes courage. The courage to act, the courage to recognize (and admit) when you are wrong, the courage to change course when you need to, the courage to present an opinion that runs counter to popular opinion, and the courage to put others first.

In previous posts I have talked about my parents and the incredible influence they have had on my development as a leader. Truer role models of hard work, perseverance, excellence, integrity, and compassion you will not find. As parents they sought to inspire me to be the best I can be, and I in turn have tried to instil the same in my children. What I did not expect, however, was the magnitude of the influence my children (two amazing sons) would have on further moulding and honing my leadership style. I think as parents we tend to assume that in relation to our children the learnings will always be one way. I have come to appreciate the arrogance of that assumption.

Take Zachary, my eldest. A young man with a clear understanding of what he believes in, what he holds dear, an incredible moral compass, and a heart as deep as the ocean. A young man who will not fear confronting the strongest if he knows their position to be unethical. A young man who will accept the consequences of taking a stand for the truth when all of those around him lack the courage to do so. A man of his word and with the highest integrity.

Logan, my youngest, has been blessed with similar convictions. A young man who will happily carry the hardship and inconvenience that typically accompanies a service-oriented life. A young man who does not complain about hard work, and just gets it done. A young man who has overcome the struggles life has dealt him and still maintained a joyous, untroubled, and optimistic outlook on life. A man who is fiercely loyal to those he holds dear. Truly amazing and true strength.

How could you fail to be influenced by the actions of two lives of consequence so close to your own? How could they not change the way you look at life? How could they not make you a better, stronger, more compassionate leader?

I will forever be in their debt. Not only have they been the greatest gifts of my life, but they are the gift that never stops giving, continually challenging me to be a better man, a better father, a better leader, and a better servant to my community.

#leadership #development #change #community #strength

With Every Passing Day......

With every passing day it becomes harder for me to deny that I look just like my Dad…..and with every passing day I am thankful that this transition also included displaying the traits that made him a man of substance, goodness and deserving of my respect.

#goodmenraisegoodmen #dadsrock 

Not All Heroes Wear Capes. Not All Leaders Wear Suits.

Today my parents celebrate 60 years of marriage. Quite the achievement in a society that seems to place less and less value on commitment and stability. I could wax lyrical on all of the ways their love and support has helped propel me to where I am today, but I will instead focus on the leadership qualities that they have modeled for me throughout my life, qualities I hope I model in my personal life as a Dad, and also in my professional life as a leader and coach.

- Commitment to purpose: there was not once in my life that I ever believed they would not be there for me if I needed them. That stability has provided me with the foundation to explode into the world.

- Optimism and encouragement: no dream was ever to big, no goal ever unachievable. I may not have had a chance at being a centre forward for England, but I never felt that anything else was off the table.

- Constant learning - they injected into my world a thirst for knowledge and understanding that still drives me today. The challenge to push beyond my comfort zone, combined with the knowledge that the safety net of family was an ever present.

- Empathy, community and giving: they have lived a life of sacrifice, open hearts and kind souls. They gave back when they could, never lost hope, and provided a consistent environment of love. I will forever be indebted for their grace, love and compassion.

- Accountability: the importance of owning your actions; the importance of accepting consequence and the humility to look at these situations not as weaknesses, but as opportunities for learning.

There are so many other things I can say......but today is their special day, and so the only phrase that comes close to what I want to convey is:

Thank you Mum and Dad.......FOR EVERYTHING!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

#mumanddad #constancy #love #sacrifice #rolemodels

Quietly Quitting

So I hear that 'Quietly Quitting' is getting a lot of air time at the moment. In response let me introduce you to Jennifer, my Mum, who just turned 80.

She has also led a quiet life:

Quietly enduring a war time infancy.
Quietly raising four kids with minimal resources, but a wealth of love and support.
Quietly climbing the seniority ladder in a busy commercial office.
Quietly providing her children with every opportunity for success.
Quietly supporting her husband in every way.
Quietly showing the world the true meaning of loyalty, commitment and hard work.

So if you are considering quietly quitting, be like Jennifer instead - full of grace, beauty, loyalty and commitment, quietly letting her actions speak for her.

#belikejennifer

Tethered Free

 

Steadfast in purpose,

Anticipatory for future freedom,

Yet shackled by todays loving bonds.

Ready to escape the control of past tomorrows,

Hopeful for the dawn of new beginnings,

But tethered by the responsibilities of the present.

How strong the soul

Whose sacrifices are hidden

Beneath the chaos of noise?

Drawing strength from self,

Succor from unspoken bonds,

And God given challenges and blessings.

How great the dream,

How great the achievement,

Borne of necessity and hope?

Let these words speak,

Let these words declare,

Pride, awe and commitment. 

For when the smoke clears,

And clarity defines your mind,

Know love conquered all.

The Art of Surfacing.....

 

I read a story the other day

Of a man that sunk beneath the sea.

It took me a while to recognize

That the sinking man was me.

Crushed by an enormous cloud,

On the edge of insanity,

Bereft of that beautiful connection,

A prisoner of your negativity.

 

Oh, I had fallen so far so fast,

Lost touch with all I held close,

Banished from my inner core,

By far the bitterest dose.

A pill so toxic and devoid of hope,

It crushed my soul from within.

Collapsed my ability to see the light,

That still burned bright many miles in.

 

So many years I drifted through

This desolate waste of unfulfilled

Fearful of what was, and what might be,

So deep was your acidity drilled.

To be clear, and don't get me wrong,

This is not a personal deflection

From the blame and my own complicity;

I was a conspirator in my own destruction.

 

I'm not sure where I found the strength

To start the battle for my soul;

To break free from the shackles so willingly donned,

To cross that bridge of trolls.

But find it I did, the first few steps

A path of faltering pace,

Steadfast yet rocky in their stride,

Focused on a better place.

 

And as I began to make that climb

My soul began to sing,

Joy abounding, confidence soaring;

The fine art of surfacing.

I had to rationalize how far I'd sunk,

To embrace my inner being,

To deprogram years of hurt and loathing,

To love what others were seeing.

 

It's been a journey, it's been a ride,

And the wheels are not done turning,

But where gloom and hurt once infiltrated,

Now lives hope and yearning.

Gone your yoke of indifference,

Your words so full of derision;

Replaced with belief and future thinking,

No room for indecision.

 

Positivity will always win;

A true heart will always find a door.

A darkened soul may win a battle,

But it will never win the war.

You tried to bury me

And take away my soul.

But you lost, game over,

I refused to pay the toll.

Yearning to Live, Wanting to Fly

 

Caught between two worlds,

The world that is; the world to come.

Trying to navigate a matrix of what could be,

And what life can only be.....for now.

Hands linked; minds connected

As one, and so deeply won.

Yet still silent barriers,

That surround despite the freedoms.

Separation, segregation, desperation.

Melded and intertwined with

Exultation, exhilaration and complete

Satisfaction, for what the future holds.

Lessons learned and understanding,

Yet still so many classes to attend.

Wayward words, unintended indifference,

Pain delivered. Pain felt. Grey clouds.

Burdens piled layer on layer

Crowd out the sun from sight.

But these are only momentary

And will soon disperse like the morning mist.

Leaving behind a path

Of forgotten woes and empty friendships.

Promises that were not delivered,

Support that was so easily removed.

But life and love is not built

On such fragile a foundation

As insincerity,

But rather on the promise of whole,

The solidity of truth

And a scaffold of love and completion.

So while we yearn to live,

Know that our dreams will soon take flight,

And soar above the tumult below

In peaceful and tranquil harmony.